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PorcelainAnarchyRequiem
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Name: Faith
Birthday: 7/11/1989
Interests: english, ancient history, nectarines, forensic science, old books, and salted peanuts
Expertise: chewing gum, having adventures, and talking my way out of trouble
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  Faithikins
Member Since:
4/23/2005
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| i assume writing here will attract little attention, as everyone appears to have switched over to facebook. my birthday is three days from now. i'll be 18.
i was thinking about doing nothing. then about doing something ridiculous. now it's back to nothing. is it possible to let it slide past unnoticed? this is kind of big. someone's bound to say something about it. i wish it wasn't happening. i don't want to be an adult. i've masqueraded as one for years. only recently have i grasped the concept of being childlike without being childish. now i have to go back to acting like an adult - only this time not by choice.
i know just what i want to do with my adult life - gain a PhD, complete a successful career, and die happy & fulfilled somewhere not California. in these last few weeks (albeit spent in europe), i found innocent delight in the ultimate freedom i had there. it was like being on top of the world - i could do anything, go anywhere (within the city the group was staying), drink whatever i wanted (which happened to usually be spetzi, ok.. :]) ... and no one was there to censor me. that, to me, is what childhood is supposed to be about (minus the free-range alcohol thing.. for the most part). the best bit was knowing that i was untouchable by anyone who had ever judged me. not a person in my family could reach me and i felt absolutely amazing. that's how i want my future to be. i want to graduate with my PhD, pay back any money i owe, and disappear into my own life.
but for right now, i just want to go back six days: lost in bolzano in the pouring rain - ice cream in hand, song in heart, about to burst into laughter.
i'm thinking that i'll call a few people and arrange to meet somewhere for coffee on the 11th. nothing big. just something to pass the time.
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| just finished Brave New World. can we say bizarre ending? i don't so much get it - the walking in a circle thing? wtf.
aaanyway, i think i'm now going to see who else is online and then go clean my room or something like that... since i'm quite awake. you know, taking a 2 hour nap in the middle of the afternoon is great - but not if you intend to keep a normal circadian cycle going. just a thought.
oh, and i leave for orientation latelatelate tuesday night and return late-ish saturday. maybe i should consider what i'll be packing for this...
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| yesterday: went to boardwalk
today: went skateboarding in downtown salinas with B and saw Knocked Up (meh - funny enough)
tomorrow: writing essays, cleaning, other shit
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| so, dismantling my bedframe was definitely a two person job. sadly there is only one of me - so that was a hoot and a half last night. at least it's done now. and my mattress is a big comfy (enough) chair thing that i can move quite easily wherever i want it. did i mention i'm not only cleaning the disaster area - but i intend to rearrange it again? yes. yes indeed. nothing fancy or dramatic, but i want the mattress to take a 90 degree turn and stuff needs to move for that to happen..
i also still need to:
-write a few short essays for IUP
-catch up on my thank you notes (since more people have sent me things for which i need to air my thanks)
-clean [if i wasn't so lazy this'd be done already]
--tables
--room
-other stuff
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| i suppose it's been a couple of days.
mmm.. swimming early in the morning. fantastic! <3
shit to accomplish before midnight:
-clear tables
-clean room
-clothes away
-dismantle bed
-generally clean room
QUESTION OF THE DAY: to follow impulse or not to follow impulse? answer please.
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